Visualization, meditation, imagination, brainstorming, whatever you decide to call this, I hope you’ll try it. If your Inner Critic tells you this kind of thing never works, kick it to the curb for the time being. Below you’ll find a guided meditation you can read to help you create the relationship you desire whether you are currently in a partnership or not. You can read it yourself, ask your spouse to read it to you, or tape yourself reading it out loud. I do have this recorded to music and will post the podcast soon. But in the meantime, basically what I’m asking you to do is close your eyes and imagine what you want. Then you’ll open our eyes and write down ways you can actually get to the vision you saw in your mind’s eye.
Visualization is a technique that’s been written about many times. Napoleon Hill wrote about it in his book Think and Grow Rich, which was first published in the early 1900s. Shakti Gawain made it popular in her book Creative Visualization in the 1970s, still a bestseller today. And the latest version of this technique is written about by Rhonda Byrne in her book, The Secret. Basically, it’s simple. You close your eyes and think about what you desire then you plan how you’re going to get what you want. (Note: If you’ve come to this blog via my Becoming a Stepmom blog, this meditation is different than the one I posted there this week.)
Now, turn off your phones, your blackberries your computers. Shut the door. Grab a notebook and pen and set them somewhere nearby. Find a comfortable place to sit where you will not be disturbed. Make sure your arms and legs are not crossed. Close your eyes. Now breathe deeply into your belly. Take five deep breaths. Relax. Be here now in your body. Feel the floor or chair supporting you. Breathe.
At the top and bottom of each breath, pause for a moment and listen to the stillness, the silence between the ocean swells of your breathing.
Now let’s tap into your imagination. Picture yourself with your life partner. Imagine the two of you in a setting that fills you with joy. It could be your home, a park, on the beach by the ocean, at an intimate table in a romantic restaurant. Right now, in this moment, you understand completely why you’re with this person. Why he or she makes you so happy. You feel the symbiotic relationship you have. The perfect give and take. You are both light with happiness. You are both connected to each other. Love emanates between you. Take a moment, look at your beloved and feel. How does that person make you feel right now? When you’re relationship is at its most supportive, its most loving, its most stimulating. How does your body feel? What is in your heart?
Imagine your partner with a smile on his or her face. How does it make you feel?
There is a reason you chose this person. There is a reason this person chose you. Remember that. Connect with it. Be open to your emotions. Be open to love.
Be open to love.
Be open to love.
This person sitting next to or across from you is another soul who is walking now or will walk beside you during their lifetime. Your partner has his or her own needs, her own desires, his own path, her own soul to answer to. How wonderful! How awe inspiring that this person has chosen to trust. And you have chosen to trust this person.
Breathe.
Be open to love.
In your imagination, thank your beloved for his or her presence in your life. Thank this person for showing up. Thank him for the things he has experienced that have made him perfect for you. Thank her for being.
Be open to love.
Breathe.
When you’re ready, open your eyes and write down what you saw in your visioning session. Write down the things you love about your current partner or that you imagined about your future partner. Write down how you felt.
Part two of this visioning exercise is action. If you are in a partnership right now, spend the week complimenting each other. Pay attention to your spouse and when she does something you like, tell her. Be honest and open with your feelings. If he casually takes your hand in the grocery store and you absolutely love that, tell him. If you come home from work and she’s cleaned up the kitchen, thank her profusely. If he snuggles you before you go to sleep and it makes you feel yummy, warm and safe, tell him.
If you are not currently in a partnership, compliment yourself and your future mate out loud. You might try: “Thank you for waiting to meet me until you’re finished unpacking your emotional baggage!” “Wow, did you see how beautiful I arranged the table this evening? I rock.” It’s easy to forget when you’re waiting for your significant other to show up that he or she may be busy doing something right now that would make your partnership impossible until he or she has completed it. If you’re waiting, refer to the Flatlands post, and keep the faith.
Visualization is a great tool and can be used for making relationships better to abundance and prosperity. Don’t forget to be grateful for the things you do have on a daily basis.
Ah, my dear friend Jacque, I have no doubt that this will work for many, many people. But I want to add a note to the folks who have already tried this approach and it didn’t seem to work. I’m one of them: every time I visualize the perfect relationship, I usually attract a pretty bad one in real life. I have no idea why this happens, but it’s happened enough times to make me stop visualizing. So for those who are a little burnt on imagining perfection, maybe go in the other direction? Stop imagining. Stop forecasting into the future. Stop pickin’ at it, just like a scab. Just open yourself to everything beautiful that floats your way… reconnect with the part of you that used to write poetry, and see the poetry in everything… and love the wonderful people who are already in your life. In other words, be happy without your perfect relationship
Whoops, I meant to say “with or without your perfect relationship.”