I’ve worked lately on rooting out some belief systems I developed as a child. One of the ideas I took on as a youngster was that I had a “spine of steel” and could live through anything. It served me extremely well in challenging times of my life and I became very proud of my strong steel spine.
Perhaps it won’t come as a shock to the bodyworkers reading this that I have had chronic back pain for a decade. I have seen physical therapists, chiropractors, and personal trainers. I’ve done yoga, had electric shock therapy, and balanced on a ball while I work at my desk–all in an effort to reduce the pain.
Recently I’ve been working with a man who has come at my back pain from the front by working my soaz muscles. At the same time I’ve meditated on this idea of the steel spine. Perhaps having such a heavy form of self-protection weighing me down isn’t the best thing after all.
And guess what? The back pain is going away. For those of you who have chronic pain of any kind I know you’ll understand what a freaking miracle this feels like. It brings tears to my eyes right now to notice that I’m sitting at my desk and my back doesn’t hurt at all.
So my question for you is this: When you were a child, what mechanisms of self-protection did you develop? Do you still need them now or is it time to release them?
