Smackdown 101

This is our most basic smackdown:

If you’re afraid of something, do it.

Always, every time.

Smackdown 102 is:

When in doubt, do nothing.

Those smackdowns might seem to conflict with each other; but when you feel afraid, that’s a sign not that you’re in doubt, but that deep down, you’ve already made the decision. Your soul knows what it wants to do; the feeling of fear is just your brain and your body freaking out because you’re carving out a new neural pathway.

So over the next day or so, keep an eye out for any moment when you feel afraid, then watch to see if you try to talk yourself out of doing it…

Hope is a slippery slope.

You can’t just have hope; you have to sustain it. Because every day is a new day, hope has to be renewed over and over again. Is that possible? Every day?

You know how quickly doubt can show up; it’s faster than the pundits on the 24-hour news networks, who are desperate for conflict and argument and fights – that’s what they’re paid for. That’s the Inner Critic’s job, too.

So how on earth do you keep hope going, especially when there are so many voices, inner and outer, who just want to keep you afraid?

Jacque and I have been doing it for ten years. We turn the slippery slope of hope into a ski resort every single day, and the smackdowns are our skis, our snowboards, our sleds, and sometimes just our good old-fashioned butts.

So about those pundits, who are already busy trying to predict the future (and of course, all they see is bad news)… one of my favorite smackdowns is just a plain, simple fact: I have no idea what’s going to happen.

All I have to do is say it: I have no idea what’s going to happen.

The Inner Critic specializes in telling you every possible, terrible thing that could go wrong, in detail. But it doesn’t really know, because you don’t know. The world is far too complex for anyone to be able to predict the future; even the next five minutes are up in the air.

If you admit that you have no idea what’s going to happen, you’re admitting that you don’t have control, and not having control is supposed to make you feel scared, right? But truth is not just powerful; it’s restful. It’s comforting.

So if you’re starting to doubt, say it: I have no idea what’s going to happen. Say it out loud.

(Listen, the world is so complex, a man who couldn’t get a floor pass to the Democratic National Convention in the year 2000, became President eight years later! Tell the truth, doesn’t that sound “impossible”?)

Day Job Vs. The Dream

“By day I sell mobile phones. My dream is to spend my life doing what I feel I was born to do. I’ve always wanted to sing as a career. Confidence has always been a difficult thing for me. I always find it a little bit difficult to be completely confident in myself.” –Paul Potts

Smackdown for Layoffs

This September 11th was the first one that felt almost like a normal day to me, when instead of mourning, I noticed that I didn’t need to mourn anymore.

Less than a week later, the American economy collapsed. Wall Street is blamed for the mess, even though most of the companies responsible de-centralized a long time ago, putting their corporate headquarters in New Jersey or in other countries.

Still, the first place that’s seeing big job losses is New York City. It’s Ground Zero all over again. The New York Times, which has not been the most reliable newspaper in the last eight years, at least ran an article today by Louise Story (great name!) showing the faces and stories of some of the people who have been laid off – not the corporate execs, but the “less skilled” workers who made the execs’ lives possible. These people are deeply afraid, as anyone is who gets laid off, and yet they find a way to smack down their fears. A quote from the article follows:

“Religion did help Andy Neff, a 20-year Bear worker. Mr. Neff, a former technology industry analyst, said he often thought about taking a year off to study the Talmud and other Jewish texts. But at the end of good years, he would not want to miss the next good year. And at the end of bad years, he felt too nervous about his finances.

“And so Mr. Neff, now 51 and father of four, says he views what has happened as a blessing. He has become a bit of a folk hero to financial workers since June when he delivered a speech about his experience at the Yeshiva Gedolah of Teaneck, N.J. His talk was posted on several sites and forwarded among Bear workers.

“‘Is this comfortable? No, it’s really not comfortable, it’s disorienting,’ Mr. Neff said in an interview. ‘But I find it unfortunate that people tend to focus on how much they lost. Coming out of every situation, you need to focus on what you have, not on what you lost.’”

If you’re having trouble changing your focus, do it in writing. Write down everything you have, and include your newfound freedom on the list.

The Ultimate Smackdown

We’ve had a death in the family. The death of a woman too young to go. She left behind a husband and two young children. And even though we knew it was coming since the cancer just wouldn’t go away, it still came as a shock. We had plans to visit next week. She wasn’t supposed to die yesterday.

Here is the mother of all smackdowns: We are on this planet for such a small time. Why not do the things your heart whispers? Why not take the leap and try the career you’ve always dreamed about? Why not ask that guy out? Why not paint even if you never went to art school? Why not write a novel even if you’re not a real writer? Why hang up your dance shoes just because you have more gray hair than you used to? Why not ask for that promotion? Why not buy that house? Why not take a year off to travel the world? Why not have a baby? Why not figure out a way to make amends with someone you’ve had a falling out with? Why not do the thing that scares you? Why not stand up to the bullies in your life? Why not plan something to look forward to that makes you feel excited to be alive? Why not learn how to believe that you’re worth it?