There is nothing like art to remind you of life’s most basic lessons. I attended a performance by Tu Dance company called Veneers choreographed by Uri Sands. The last scene of the the work is particularly powerful. A woman stands alone at the front of the stage doing repetitive movements that speed up throughout this portion of the dance until the beautiful woman looks absolutely frantic. She pulls her hair out of her tight dancer’s bun and the faster she goes the more disheveled she becomes. Still, she repeats the movements. Over and over again. A group of six or so other dancers march in a line past her to the back of the stage. They are beating bouquets of flowers over their shoulders and the petals litter the stage. At the end, the woman’s movement stops when she drops her head into her hands in what feels like despair.
After the performance, when my friend and I compared notes we found that we had each interpreted the scene very differently. I had watched the dancers beating themselves with flowers and thought self-flagellation. I’d seen this woman falling apart after moving through the same motions again and again. She refused to give up and moved faster even at the cost of herself. She never stopped to realize how beautiful she was because she was so frantic to keep moving. For me it was the Inner Critic come to life in visual art. By the end I had tears streaming down my face.
My friend saw a woman falling apart all alone at the front of the stage with no one to help her. All of the dancer’s marching by with their flowers ignored the woman’s plight. She was alone.
Both of our versions were correct. And I’m sure there were many more versions that other audience members saw that night. This makes me think of two ways to S.M.A.C.K. that damn beast of an Inner Critic that holds us back. First, it’s comforting to know that your way is not the only way. The way you see something might not be correct. And it is certainly not the way others see it. (This includes how you see yourself.) Second, If you’re working on a project that is dear to your heart but you hear critiques of your work that hurt you are that you don’t agree with, remember that every person who looks at your work will see it through the lens of their own life experiences. Continue working. Learn how to trust your instincts. Be open to learning something. Change things when you hear the same comment more than once. Stand firm when you’re working to express your own version of events.
Lately I’ve had seriously good book karma. I have picked up books that are absolute works of art and I am reveling in their beauty. One was fiction. One was a non-fiction that spoke directly to my heart. And even though I sobbed over the last 30 pages of the novel I just finished, the next morning I could feel the beauty of the world once again. The timing couldn’t be more perfect since spring has finally arrived in the Midwest.
